College Essay reflection
Through writing my college essay I’ve improved my sentence structure. I’ve learned how to condense sentences and make them more concise. For example, in my first draft of my essay I stated “My mind spun endlessly flowing with the raging waters of the Animas River.” “ This was revised to “Thoughts flow endlessly like the raging waters of the Animas.” quoted form my final draft. When I first started writing this essay I knowly was responding to two different prompts because I loved them both and still wasn't clear on which one I wanted to follow, so it made sense when I received feedback to really hone in on one specific question and thoroughly answer it. I’ve realized that once I did this my essay flowed much better and writing a conclusion was really easy and tied my whole essay together. In order for you to make growth and absorb valuable critique from others you need to be open minded and don't take feedback personally. Here is a sentence from my final draft that answers prompt #2 perfectly, “Sending my project was proof that through all challenges, perseverance would result in something great.”
College Essay rough draft
I sit quietly as my spine digs into the plastic backing of the chair. Confined into a small room, I stare blankly at the walls around me and look up at the large fluorescent lights above. I’m back!? I’m back finishing my second semester at Animas high school siting in my favorite class (Humanities) with my favorite people, yet I can't seem to focus. Thoughts flow endlessly like the raging waters of the Animas. I shut my eyes for a moment, the walls of the room were instantaneously diminished, tall willow trees took their place. Their green branches towered over me, swaying with the delicate pull of wind. I was back in Rodellar, Spain, the very first destination I ever arrived with my new family, The Climbing Academy.
Just three months ago I had embarked on a great adventure with the climbing academy. As a new student, I was overwhelmed but at the same time, invigorated. The sight of distant rock walls and caves seized my mind as chills of anxiousness and excitement crawled down my arms. The adventure had just begun. I open my eyes; I’m back in the classroom and the pit of my stomach turns. It was in this moment, I knew I had made a terrible mistake! My semester at the Climbing Academy had ended, but why hadn’t I return? I ask my teacher, Matt, if I can get a drink of water. I sneak my iPhone into my back pocket and race out of the room. Without hesitation, I pull out my phone and Dial Robin, the program directors’ number, at the climbing academy. “Robin, Hi! It’s Soma”, I paused. “I want to come back for my second semester...” I said it, it was done.
Seventy two hours later, I was sitting on a plane heading to Chattanooga, making my way back to the Climbing Academy. I agonized about my decision. What was I doing? I could have an ___ second semester back home. Staying at home where my daily life was comfortable, at a familiar school, with my loving friends, caring family, and beloved lab, Jake, to greet me when I arrived home every day. Afterall, living in my small sweet mountain town of Durango, Colorado was too simple.
Every day, each aspect of the Climbing Academy presented me with a new challenge. I was challenged socially, academically, physically. In the first semester I quickly learned that my “me time” was ___ by homework, and eventually I had to live with the fact that no matter how well I managed my time, nothing would be completed to the perfection I hoped. It was an exhausting expectation that at any day, or any given any task you give it 100%. However, that’s what I hated yet loved most about the school. Well, I can’t stop the plane now I told myself. It all added to the experience and I was ready to embark on semester two, what I know will be an insane adventure no matter what.
The alarm strikes 5:55 on a Saturday morning and I spring out of bed. I managed to wolf down two eggs and brush my teeth all within 10 minutes! Within moments chaos floods the house as students itch to get on the wall! A smile lines my face as I gaze out over the lucid Aegean. It was our last climbing day on the island therefore, my last chance to send my project. I plug in headphones and the approach to the wall starts to climb. Consumed with the beat, the world around me fades away. I look up at the face of the wall and channel my attention to the project. Viewing the beauty of it lines, the long tufas, dramatic stalactites, my heart rate increases. I rehearse the beta once again and repeat every sequence of the crux obsessively until every detail is memorized. I eventually reach the base of the cliff. Taking deep breaths in and out, I attempt to calm my nerves.
Left hand, right hand, flowing through each move with perfect execution, my head was cleared. I was now apathetic on sending the route. Before I know it, I’ve reached the resting jug just before the crux sequence. I look up and the pump starts to settle in. I shake my arms out vigorously attempting to decrease the pump. I slow my breathing and know the pump isn’t subsiding. I progressed towards the crux and tell myself and flow straight through it with ease. Shouts from below exhilarates me as I pull the remaining couple of moves so concerned of falling there was no way to prevent my legs from shaking. Clipping the chains on the top of the cliff couldn’t feel more rewarding. A plethora of emotions bubble up inside me. In a shaky voice, I yelled down to my belayer “take.” I looked around and embraced the astonishing view from above. The Aegean sea crashes below and the rush of adrenaline flees my body. All that remains is pure satisfaction. Sending my project was proof that through all challenges, perseverance would result in something great.